The morning routine of a successful armed robber:
Try to remember that weird dream you had where a genie finally granted your wish to have more wishes.
(Write it down in your dream journal – quick!)
Do robber exercises – knee-highs and light yoga.
Pick an outfit: all black, horizontal stripes; hat/no hat. Gloves? Be mindful of the season.
Check the weather.
Brush teeth with organic flouride-free toothpaste you stole from that fancy grocery store.
Then brush with regular toothpaste…because: let’s be real, that organic stuff never leaves you feeling all that clean.
Do your daily affirmations:
May I have all the money in the bag – large bills only.
I will have all your money.
May someone else’s stuff eventually become my stuff.
May people value their lives more than their things.
May every new day be full (of stuff I can steal).
Do 10 mins of “stick-em-ups” in the mirror (using your finger; not actual gun).
Smile at yourself; because, “Hey, look at you go! Remember when you thought you would never be a morning person?!”